One young woman’s second attempt at blogging

Published December 21, 2014 by Dreamreflector

First of, lots of love to everyone who’s stuck with me even though I haven’t posted anything for what seems to be at least a decade. Even if you just haven’t bothered to delete my blog from your reader because there’s no harm in it being there, or simply forgot you were following this blog in the first place, thank you for bearing with me. I have been missing this blog and all you lovely readers, but I’m sure you all know that life just gets in the way of things sometimes.

This Fall has been mentally and physically really tough on me. My task for this period was to write my Bachelor’s thesis. Although I did manage, (sent it in just this Friday), it really took a toll on me in many ways. Firstly I was at the computer a lot, obviously reading articles and writing, which gave me crazy headaches and shoulder pain (I can’t seem to hold my posture while on the comp, in fact I’m scrunched up like a used napkin right now).

Because the work was done solo, I spent a lot of time at home, which made me feel lonely and frustrated, not to mention that leaving home became incredibly difficult. I had terrible mood swings, and I ate really badly too: when you sit on the computer doing the same thing for say, eight hours a day, it’s very easy to just forget to eat, besides, if you do remember, since you’ve been doing barely anything for weeks, you get lazy and won’t see the harm in living on bread and popsicles.

The feeling of loneliness was enhanced by the fact that a friend with whom I had been very close with during the last semester seemed to be giving me the cold shoulder. She didn’t show it in an obvious way, but it still felt like she was avoiding me. We used to spend alone time together at least once a week in the Spring, but as Fall came I found our time together growing shorter, eventually leading to a point where we would only meet when there was a bigger get-together. I tried asking her for coffee, attempted to pry out some details about how her life was going, but obviously something had changed for her. I am still wondering what happened, I really miss her.

I have always been one to get stressed easily, and the bachelor’s thesis caused me a lot of it. I am usually very conscientious in the work that I have to do, and will deliver best if not pressured. But since this property seems to be a rare thing among my fellow students, a lot of pressure was put on us to finish our theses. Thanks to this, I was very stressed and anxious for a very long time, which can’t be a good thing either.

To top all this of, my grandpa, whom I really respected, admired and loved, passed away less than two weeks ago. It was quite sudden, and I was about 400 kilometers away from him, so I didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye. Needless to say, I am still sad about losing him.

However, as Christmas is coming and my thesis is (at least almost) ready, I feel it is time to leave the struggles of the Fall behind and start with a clean slate. I have retired to my parents house for the holidays and have some free time again, so I felt like this might be the time to revive this blog. I’ll try to post something at least once a week. Still, this blog is, as it always has been, primarily for me, and I am not going to place any pressure on myself about this. I don’t need, nor deserve it. 

Tommorrow I will finally put an overdue end to the adventure in Lapland -series, and then move on to something else.

Although I haven’t had it easy lately, I am proud to say I still believe in dreams. I do wish you’ve kept your hope alive as well! C:

Feel

I took this picture last Friday, exactly a week from my grandpa’s passing. It’s some thin ice that has been cracking and freezing again. I can’t specify why, but I feel that this picture captures perfectly the mood I’ve had during this silence. What do you get from it?

An adventure in Lapland, part 2

Published July 14, 2014 by Dreamreflector

Didn’t read the first part? *clickclickclick* https://mydreamrealities.wordpress.com/2014/07/08/an-adventure-in-lapland-1/

After passing through Isokuru it was time to head on up 411 steps of wooden stairs from the gorge.

:D

We turned around every once in a while to look at the view of Isokuru gorge spreading underneath us, and everything looked so minuscule. Especially the trees on the other side of the gorge reminded me of a train track miniature I had had as a child.

:)

After getting to the top, we continued past Uhrikallio (lit. sacrifice cliff), which was amazingly huge, but sadly not very photogenic as a place; the edge was largely covered by foliage, so it was tough to find a good angle to shoot. Nevertheless the place had a big, sort of mean looking rock formation in the bottom of a huge gorge along with a healthy looking swamp.

:O

After this, we headed forward, even though the official route urged us to stay back. We figured we could make it without going the easy way, there was a trail after all… A good idea? A good place for a cliff hanger (ha, I’m too funny).

Wait and see, more in part 3! AND it rhymed :D

An adventure in Lapland, Part 1

Published July 8, 2014 by Dreamreflector

Three weeks ago from now, I was about to take a leap of faith perhaps bigger than ever. I was to face the family of my loved one and survive the lifestyle of an ever-working people. How would his family react to a city girl leading life so far apart from theirs? And how exactly was said girl supposed to cope in a culture perhaps more foreign to her than all the actual foreign places she had ever been to? Well, you know how you can make yourself feel a bit better in an unpleasant situation by thinking “Just remember you survived situation x and that was far worse than this“? This trip will definitely be filed under situation x. 

There were however, better parts (or a part actually). We spent a day hiking in the Pyhä-Luosto national park. It was just me, him, our new dog (sort of) and the majestic Pyhä fells. That part I quite enjoyed, and thus photographed extensively.

After a few issues with the transportations, dust, too-much-men-in-a-cottage situations and fuel for our Trangia (portable camping stove), we started our hike in the national park. First up was Isokuru (lit. “big gorge”, what a nifty name, right?). This was rather striking when you where there, but unfortunately the scale of things can’t really be grasped from photos. What you can see, however is the general landscape: essentially there’s just tons and tons of rock. I am used to seeing a lot of rocks, but the rocks there aren’t like here in the south. The southern rocks have been polished and rounded by the ice cover during the latest ice age, but the rocks in the north haven’t. Thus, the northern rocks have pointy angles and very sharp edges. At Isokuru, the landscape was easy to work with, thanks to the built in wooden path. Later on though, we would end up crossing pretty vast fields of jagged rocks, relying only to our sense of balance and hiking boots. More on the rest of the journey on future posts. In the mean while, here are some pictures of Isokuru.

:p

This sign was at the start of the hike. It shows some of the possible nature targets and the distance to them (km). So from that point, it was 1.5 km to the start of Isokuru.

:=

The scenery on the way to Isokuru wasn’t bad either. We let our dog Nana wonder free. She had a blast :D

:0

Here we are at Isokuru. The rocks and the wooden path are apparent.

:D

C:

This picture helps a bit in determining the scale of Isokuru. My boyfriend and Nana, in rather tiny form, appear in the picture :D

^^

And finally me and Nana somewhere along Isokuru. It’s a shame there isn’t any pictures of the three of us together, but it’s only natural, since there wasn’t anyone there to take a picture.

Part two of the hiking trip coming up soon! ^^

 

Curse these “wonder phones”!

Published May 27, 2014 by Dreamreflector

It’s been way toooo long since I’ve posted any photos to this bellowed blog of mine. But there’s a reason: It’s been waaaaaay toooo long since I have actually taken “real” pictures. I know what’s to blame too. I got a new cell phone. For the past two years before the new phone, I had the most basic phone with no extras at all. You couldn’t even use the internet with that fellow. But now, my friends, things have changed. I have a new iPhone 5 and that baby does everything. There’s internet, there’s camera, there’s flashlight, there’s all sorts of games and there’s apps for everything I could possibly need. Upon getting to me, the phone has sneakily managed to sent my camera, computer, music player, wii and flashlight to an early pension. While it’s good to have everything on hand in one thing, this also makes me practically addicted to my phone; a tragic faith I’ve seen happen with many of my friends earlier. Has this ever happened to any of you guys? 

All this then, leads to me leaving everywhere thinking “why carry that heavy old camera, if I see something interesting, I’ll just snap a shot with my phone.” Although the camera in the iPhone may be decent enough, it is by no means a match to a real camera. But still I’m now in the situation where in a period of a few months I have taken hundreds of photos with my cell and none with my real camera. WHAT A SHAMEFUL THING! 

From now on I intend to take my real camera along with me more again. It is way too young for pension!

However just to get you guys some photos, and to highlight my point, here is a random array of cell phone photography. Enjoy… or take it as a lesson! It’s a pretty good recap of the year so far :D

First of, me cutting a chunk of raw reindeer meat with a pocket knife! This is what everybody does in Finland folks :D
Just kidding, it was the first time for me. I was visiting my boyfriends parents and he’s from Lapland. Not exactly a flattering shot either but I’ll live.
 
Me xD
 
Then, a snap shot from a walk on a foggy day a while back. 
 
Foggy
 
Next, a pretty unrealistic looking shot from the darkroom I took in the midst of processing some film photos. 
 
Darkroom
 
One nights creative impulse willed to reality: Winnie and hunny -snow sculpture :D
 
Winnie
 
My Frida Kahlo look for a costume party :D 
 
Frida
 
I ran into this guy on a course trip to an organic cow farm. What a happy life he had.
 
Organic
 
And finally, a photo from our darkroom collectives little photography exhibition. I only had three photos on show, and I was forced to pic them in a rush from a single 36 frame T-max film I had with me at the time, but it was still cool, because it was the first time my photos have been publicly shown on paper. 
 
Exhibition
 

There you have it! I promised you random shots from my cell phone :D And random they indeed are.

Afternoon activities

Published March 5, 2014 by Dreamreflector

Here are few pics of people enjoying a beautiful afternoon a few days ago.

:D C: ^^

A dream quote for today: “They may become harder to achieve but your dreams can’t stop because you’ve hit a certain age or you’ve had a child.” – Unknown

Coming up:  Some film photography!

A piece in my puzzle

Published January 26, 2014 by Dreamreflector

In my previous post I said I might be doing a post about my personal dream come true, my boyfriend. We’ve been together for eight months, and though I was happy before him, I am definitely even more happy right now. I know eight months is not a lot in relationships, and am realistic about our love, but I still feel like celebrating a bit. And to be honest, even though I love to take and post my photography, and you guys seem to enjoy looking at them (for which I’m very grateful for) this blog was originally started for me to nurture my dreamscapes and as my early readers would know, having this relationship is a major dream come true for me. So, on with a quick revisit to the roots of this blog C:

Before I met my boyfriend, I had spent hours and hours thinking about what it would be like to have someone like that. I dreamed about candle lit dinners, kissing under the fireworks, sitting close to each other at the cafeteria, watching the sunset with him gently smoothing my hair, having long, deep conversations about things that matter, and long, deep kisses after the conversations. Boy, I could fill a book with those.

Looking back, it’s fair to say that my prince charming had a lot to live up to. Now, as I have found someone to be that for me, (and someone who wants me to be the princess for him), I have found that not everything will be like I dreamed it would. Some things are better than I imagined; I never thought I’d be able to be so completely comfortable around someone who I’m not related to. I had imagined, that I could never completely let down my guard with a man. Of course I dreamed that we would be close, but I was expecting to constantly having to check that I’m putting the best foot forward, to keep the filter between my mind and mouth, to make sure not to say or do something that might make him freak out or stop loving me. I feel more at ease with him, than I have felt with any other guy. And really, that’s one of the reasons why I love him. Of course, my dreams are not being met the whole time. We both make mistakes. There really is no way for two imperfect people to be perfect together. But that’s okay; perfection’s really only a reflection of the godly world we all spend our lives reaching for.

Typing these scattered words, I feel there’s so much more to say, so much more emotion to convey, but I have no way to let it all out. To me that shows that what we’ve got is pretty close to perfection after all. This life is but a never ending quest to find the pieces to one’s own personal puzzle, and I am one piece closer to finishing mine.

Here are a few pictures of us ^^

LOVE

^^

^.^

Listen to our song :3 “Pieces” by Cider Sky <3

Nightmare before christmas (aka a few snaps from here and there)

Published December 22, 2013 by Dreamreflector

I know it’s not new year yet, and I am by no means declaring this year finished, but as I’ve been forced to sit inside doing nothing for the past week, thanks to a persistent flu, (that’s the first nightmare of this post) I have gone through my photography files. I noticed that there are a number of files (or occasions as iPhoto likes to rank them) that contain a few photos and that I have completely ignored while posting over the past year. So just for fun (or just because I can’t go out an take any new photos and am immensely bored) here are few random snaps in chronological order.

Oh and the only reason I named this post as a nightmare is the fact that I’m going to have a random slab of photographs that are in no way connected to each other :D

:D

I’ll start of with this rather angry looking selfie from february (this might be part of the nightmare :D). I don’t post a lot of selfies and this is definitely not what I’d call a presentable shot of myself, but I found it fascinating somehow as I normally don’t look so unfriendly and unapproachable. The situation behind this photo was that I was learning the angles of my film camera by taking selfies, which is obviously very hard, as there’s no auto focus and you can’t check the pics straight after taking them. So I took a few photos with the same settings with my digital camera for reference. This is one of them.

^^

Then we have a lone butterfly from march. This is actually not a black and white shot, there really isn’t any other colors present at the situation: the butterfly was black and white and then there’s the gray concrete floor. This was taken in the botanical and butterfly garden Botania in Joensuu, how ever, I only took like five pictures that time, and this was the only one in the bunch I liked, so it ended up not making it to this blog.

:P

Then I took a few photographs for my friend who’s an aspiring stand-up comedian. I rarely take photos of people, partly because people usually don’t want to be photographed and partly because photography has always been something I’ve done to get some “me-time” alone in nature. However, as he asked me to take some photos of him, I thought well, maybe I should try something new for a change, and so I said yes. The reason I haven’t posted any pictures about this earlier is that I really don’t think they were that good, the lighting was really poor and it was my first time at this so what else would one expect. Still, I’m happy I tried.

D:

This picture features the fish we caught with my friend as she was visiting our cottage in the Summer. It’s a fun photo and tells a great story, but is not really aesthetically beautiful or interesting, which is why I didn’t post it at the time. It was a great few days though :D

C:

This nice Autumn photo was captured at a walk with my boyfriend one crisp afternoon. Apart from this and a few not-so-good shots I took goofy pictures of us, so this didn’t make it into the blog. Besides I had a problem with the placing of the Dreamreflector -signature, with which I am not happy now either.

^^

Then a friend of mine, the same fishing pal from Summer, asked me if I could take some pictures of her and her boyfriend to be put on her wall and to be given to said boyfriend as a present. This time I have to say I’m happy with the results, I really think I managed to capture the joy and affection between them quite well, considering that it was just my second real people photography session. She chose this shot and two others.

:L

Then me and my friends went to a student cruise aimed for people studying natural sciences. It was a fun get away, though alcohol filled for some. I spent the evening snapping pictures of others, but I’ll leave them in the archives and settle for this maybe a bit wannabe artsy photo. I know it looks a bit forced but I still like it.

So there you have it, a few random moments from the past year. Hope you enjoyed.

And as a further note, I am considering doing a short revision back to the roots of this blog by posting a few syrupy sweet ooy gooey pictures of me and my boyfriend and some seriously diabetes causing sentences about love and dreams coming true. We’ll have to see now, don’t know if you’d be into the idea :D

A dream quote for today: “We may place blame, give reasons, and even have excuses; but in the end, it is an act of cowardice to not follow your dreams.” – Steve Maraboli