goals

All posts tagged goals

One young woman’s second attempt at blogging

Published December 21, 2014 by Dreamreflector

First of, lots of love to everyone who’s stuck with me even though I haven’t posted anything for what seems to be at least a decade. Even if you just haven’t bothered to delete my blog from your reader because there’s no harm in it being there, or simply forgot you were following this blog in the first place, thank you for bearing with me. I have been missing this blog and all you lovely readers, but I’m sure you all know that life just gets in the way of things sometimes.

This Fall has been mentally and physically really tough on me. My task for this period was to write my Bachelor’s thesis. Although I did manage, (sent it in just this Friday), it really took a toll on me in many ways. Firstly I was at the computer a lot, obviously reading articles and writing, which gave me crazy headaches and shoulder pain (I can’t seem to hold my posture while on the comp, in fact I’m scrunched up like a used napkin right now).

Because the work was done solo, I spent a lot of time at home, which made me feel lonely and frustrated, not to mention that leaving home became incredibly difficult. I had terrible mood swings, and I ate really badly too: when you sit on the computer doing the same thing for say, eight hours a day, it’s very easy to just forget to eat, besides, if you do remember, since you’ve been doing barely anything for weeks, you get lazy and won’t see the harm in living on bread and popsicles.

The feeling of loneliness was enhanced by the fact that a friend with whom I had been very close with during the last semester seemed to be giving me the cold shoulder. She didn’t show it in an obvious way, but it still felt like she was avoiding me. We used to spend alone time together at least once a week in the Spring, but as Fall came I found our time together growing shorter, eventually leading to a point where we would only meet when there was a bigger get-together. I tried asking her for coffee, attempted to pry out some details about how her life was going, but obviously something had changed for her. I am still wondering what happened, I really miss her.

I have always been one to get stressed easily, and the bachelor’s thesis caused me a lot of it. I am usually very conscientious in the work that I have to do, and will deliver best if not pressured. But since this property seems to be a rare thing among my fellow students, a lot of pressure was put on us to finish our theses. Thanks to this, I was very stressed and anxious for a very long time, which can’t be a good thing either.

To top all this of, my grandpa, whom I really respected, admired and loved, passed away less than two weeks ago. It was quite sudden, and I was about 400 kilometers away from him, so I didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye. Needless to say, I am still sad about losing him.

However, as Christmas is coming and my thesis is (at least almost) ready, I feel it is time to leave the struggles of the Fall behind and start with a clean slate. I have retired to my parents house for the holidays and have some free time again, so I felt like this might be the time to revive this blog. I’ll try to post something at least once a week. Still, this blog is, as it always has been, primarily for me, and I am not going to place any pressure on myself about this. I don’t need, nor deserve it. 

Tommorrow I will finally put an overdue end to the adventure in Lapland -series, and then move on to something else.

Although I haven’t had it easy lately, I am proud to say I still believe in dreams. I do wish you’ve kept your hope alive as well! C:

Feel

I took this picture last Friday, exactly a week from my grandpa’s passing. It’s some thin ice that has been cracking and freezing again. I can’t specify why, but I feel that this picture captures perfectly the mood I’ve had during this silence. What do you get from it?

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Things I am going to do someday vol 3

Published April 24, 2012 by Dreamreflector

Part one https://mydreamrealities.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/things-i-am-going-to-do-someday-vol-1/

Part two https://mydreamrealities.wordpress.com/2012/04/23/things-i-am-going-to-do-someday-vol-2/

Okay so part three it is :D At this point I want to say that the things I have already said I am going to do are in no particular order, just in the order in which they came to mind, and I will continue with that.

  • Visit the cloud forest in Costa Rica

This has been a dream of mine for quite a long time.

It’s so beautiful. I mean the trees, the birds the everything! It’s just a place I have to see.

Plus, this would be sooo amazing

  • Cook a gourmet meal from scratch

I can cook a bit of course. I made a delicious beef just today. And I can make a killer pizza, with self baked dough and all. But I would really love to be able to make something truly glamorous, a true gourmet dish. I mean I love food, and I love to eat out. And I have tasted some of the most sweetest things. I have had dishes like “Fried fillet of reindeer from Inari and ptarmigan from Utsjoki, creamed sheep polyporus mushroom, terrine of cold-smoked reindeer and new crop potatoes served with dark game sauce “. It tasted so good. And sounds fancy. And would certainly impress anyone. So I would really love to know how to make something like that.

I am so hungry right now. To the fridge I say! :D

But before that, a dream quote for today: “Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.” ^^

Things I am going to do someday vol 2

Published April 23, 2012 by Dreamreflector

You can read part 1 here: https://mydreamrealities.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/things-i-am-going-to-do-someday-vol-1/

  •  Attend a rock climbing course

I have always loved to climb on things, and I still do. Remembering those childhood summers, and knowing that a person my age climbing a tree in public, is not really considered socially acceptable, I figured this would be the mature thing to do.

I remember one time, me and my friend spotted a “Glacial erratic” -see I’m trying really hard to be mature :DD basically that’s just a huge rock- in the woods, and decided to climb on top of it. It was at least three meters (so about 10 ft) high, and very very slippery, but we managed to get on top with the help of a rope we knotted to a pine tree on the opposite side of the side we were going to climb. Our mother’s almost had heart attacks when they found out of course, but I had found a passion.

  • Learn an exotic language

Of course many would argue that Finnish is an exotic language, and I suppose for many it is, but it being my native language, I am certainly not going to settle for that.

Then there is of course the maybe too obvious fact that I also know English. And rather well too, I’d like to think, for someone not native I mean. But I think everyone agrees the words English and exotic have nothing more in common but the initial e vowel. So that won’t do either.

I also know a bit of Swedish. But that’s compulsory in Finland, and Imo one of the most useless languages there is, simply because it’s only spoken in Sweden and they all know English. So that’s a no too.

Then the last and I’d say the most unusual item in my language repertoire: Russian. It does tick the exotic box for quite a few people, but when I say exotic, I really mean exotic. Oh and almost forgot. I know a bit of sing language too. That’s kinda exotic? But I really love to talk so I need a language that’s spoken.

So what would I like to learn then, you ask? I do realise that I already know more languages than some people ever will. But what would really do the trick for me is something really out of the norm. Something like Bengali. Many people living here in Europe or in America probably haven’t even heard about the Bengali language. And I have never known anyone who spoke it, in fact I have never even heard someone knowing someone who spoke it. And yet it’s one of the most spoken languages in the world. Useful and definitely exotic.

So that’s two more things to the to do list for life ^^

A dream quote for today: “Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success.” <3

Keep your dreams growing and your goals groomed!

Things I am going to do someday vol 1

Published April 20, 2012 by Dreamreflector

At some point in their life, I think everyone gets to a point where they reflect on their past experiences and decide what more there is to be done in life. I have done something like that today. But because I feel I have so much to say about these, I am going to do several posts (don’t know how many yet, we’ll see) about what I want to do in life. And I am going to write about one or two things per post, depending on how much I have to say about them. Hope you enjoy reading these, and maybe find some things that you too want to do. Or maybe you have done some of these already! If you have, I would love for you to comment about it. Okay here we go!

  • Get married

I think for those of you who have bared with me a while longer, this is something rather obvious, and it has been that way for me too. True love, for which I miraculously still have faith for, to me demands marriage. But of course, marriage itself as a goal would be stupid. There’s no point in marrying someone just to get married. So that’s why I need an other goal.

  • Fall in love

That’s probably even more obvious to you :D But it’s true. I don’t feel the need to present much argument for this. I’ve never met a person who hasn’t wanted to fall in love. Sure we all have moments when we think, fuck love, but sooner or later we’ll still end up wanting to feel it. I’m really not that into rap music, but this Finnish rap song really has a cute take on love. The artists are Leijonamieli and Putkimiehet (Literally The lion mind and the plumbers) and the song is called “Laulu sadepäivän varalle” (A song for in case of a rainy day) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rr4Jca-V9s. Enjoy the sound of Finnish C:

 

Here are the lyrics in English, translated by me:

Sometimes it rains, sometimes it shines, this is my song for in case of a rainy day.

 

CHORUS:

This is my song for in case of a rainy day

I know I won’t stay alone

Something great was missing

The direction of the wind of my life changed

I can see the sun already

 

What is the thing for which sake you have resorted to desperate acts

The thing for which sake there has been war and murder

But without it one is so very frustrated

What is the thing who cuddles you and to whom you unload your sorrows

The thing that makes you think “what the f**k”

since because of it both your eyes and jaw drop.

Many people have to search it from deep down

To ask it from the above in their nightly prayers

Young people search for it, it supports in the midst of worry

It brings out the most sensitive side in the toughest of men

Everybody searches it, some will never find it

It puts down the arrogant, and raises up the humble

It is thrown away in anger

It gets you to collect seven flowers under your pillow on midsummer night

When I look at it I see so many d*mn good things

that to describe it I need Dave’s big pen

CHORUS

Now she sleeps next to me, burrowed in my armpit

At her most beautiful with the shape of the pillow pressed on her cheek

It’s the feeling of togetherness on dark nights

when both my soul and body tingle under her touch

when she came to visit me for the first time

she gave coloured pencils to my black and white world

causing a never-ending beating of my heart

forcing me to seek an answer to the question

Why me

Why did it choose me, a man who has shards of glass in his heart

Why me

Why did it choose me, a man who yesterday painted a devil to a wall

The answer:

It doesn’t ask us time or place

It gets our priorities straight, it renews us

It was lost, but has now come back

It’s the worlds greatest feeling -being in love!

CHORUS

This is probobly my favourite part

For so long the sun rose black

you’re heart starts to hurt when you walk alone in the darkness for long enough

thinking, won’t these days give me any light at all

That’s when I saw a flash from the sun under the gray sky

I want to believe in faith and build it with you

In the middle of the storm you stood, at the end of a rainbow

S**t piles up but that too I can all carry

When I’ve got someone next to me, with whom to divide the burden

CHORUS x2

Phew, that was it. And this is one of the reasons why I normally don’t like rap music. The lyrics are soooo long. Hope someone had the patience to read those through, because there are many great points in it about love.

A dream quote for today: ” Dreams get you into the future and add excitement to the present.” ^^